The Reason First Class Flight is So Expensive

The food … Or the wine … Or the little crucible of mixed nuts that they give you that are [wait for it!] warmed. Warmed legumes, third-tier vintage wine, and a gourmet meal–these are now a few of my favorite things.

I used to be a great flier until I met Elissa. One too many  flights with her at threat-level “scream” and I have become a bit of a jittery flier. You know what’s good for that? Warmed legumes, third-tier vintage wine, and a gourmet meal. After a full bottle of their local Cab, I nearly fell asleep standing in front of the commode in the latrine while the plane shook like rabid, Jack Russell terrier (bred for killing animals with a powerful shake of its neck). People outside the latrine were audibly gasping, but I was too enamoured with the size of my enormous ears! Have they always been that plump?

Here is a picture of my delicious meal. I was beyond skeptical–Eggs?! Shrimp?! with plane food?? But look how red the tomatoes are!

Fresh first-class food

For anyone who wants to know the stats of crashing on a plane, here is a site that lists a bunch of statistics. Most surprising? That birds crash so many planes each year, forget avian flu, this is the real wing’d threat of the skies; also, don’t fly Russian airlines. As a companion piece, here is the real story (on non-story) behind where on the plane is the safest place to sit (answer: on the ground).


7 responses to “The Reason First Class Flight is So Expensive

  1. How did you write this (and the entry below) on the second of May?

  2. Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Read about it here.
    When do we see your blog?

  3. Well, I didn’t know where you were in the country. Isn’t Colorado only an hour (at most) ahead of Arizona? My blog? To tell you the truth, I’m not feeling ambitious enough in that area at the moment. I’m getting off my meds on the fifteenth though, I’m excited about that.

  4. Doesn’t matter where I am in the country, the blog is on GMT. Even if I were on Instanbul time, the blog would still be on GMT.

    Which meds?

  5. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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