Pedometers and Hollow Apologies


It is my contention there are at least two kinds of apologies: those intended to make the recipient feel better about some encountered loss (an expression of regret), and those intended to clear the apologizer from wrongdoing (a defense of an accusation). Indeed, the word apology comes the Latin word for a speech in one’s own defense.

Recently I received this message on my comments section:

“Thank you for good information~~* Please comeback to visit my blog too : I’m sorry , If you think this is spam. but may i thank you again.”

First off, please go to this pedometer blogspot and learn all about the fascinating world of counting your steps, or rather having your steps counted. I will add to the obviously excellent advice on this page my own pedometer advice.

As the article states, its not always easy to find an accurate pedometer. If knowing approximately how many steps you’ve walked in a day is motivation enough to continue walking, then get the free McDonald’s pedometer and be done with it.

However, if, like me, you are afraid that some of your steps won’t be counted or will be overcounted, then I recommend a back up system to monitor your pedometer. I like to think of this second pedometer as a pedometer’s pedometer.
It is a little device that will count, out loud, the counts of your pedometer. When I say little device, I am really talking about a little person (maybe a six or seven year old). Little is important because they will need to be at eye-level with your pedometer so that they can easily count the counting).

This is a great exercise if you have a child that loves to give uninterrupted focus to mundane things for long periods of time (and who doesn’t). Or even a child who doesn’t like to focus, but loves to count so much that she will endure the prolonged focus so that she can keep counting. If the latter is true, then it is best to make sure that she is not just ignoring the focus (the part she doesn’t like) and just focusing on the counting (the part she does like). The best way to ensure this focus is not broken is to get another little child (preferably one that likes to focus) to walk alongside the first child and ensure that she is not just counting willy-nilly.

Depending on your preference for redundant back-up systems, you may have as many as 8 little children providing pedometer oversight. I never leave the house for a walk without a half-dozen little children affixed to my hip–sure, the neighbors talk, but I get the kind of accuracy out of my pedometer that only 6 children all counting together at each of my steps will provide.
Secondly, back to hollow apologies.

It really takes no effort to NOT apologize, so why waste the effort if you aren’t really sorry. The person who spammed my comments with their idiotic pedometer advertisement clearly has no remorse about doing such a thing. They did not weigh the harms and benefits and decide that, yes, it was necessary to spam my blog no matter the annoyance I might suffer. Instead, they saw an advantage to be had and they took it.

Fine. I love an opportunist as much as any one else. However, I feel it is really a kind of insult to insist that you apologize for something for which you are not the least bit sorry. And a peremptory apology, a defense for yourself for an anticipated accusation, is worth little without an accompanying justification usually beginning with the word “because.” As that word is absent in my spammer’s case, I must assume that he or she actually is sorry with regret, not defense.

But sorry for what? Not sorry for the actual spamming, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. Indeed, the spammer is sorry in the event that I think the pedometer message is spam.

In other words, in the event that my warped and addled mind MISTAKES a comment, purely about pedometers and having no reference to my actual blog, as spam, then this person is truly sorry for the illogical conclusion I have drawn from overwhelming facts to the contrary.

Apology accepted.


One response to “Pedometers and Hollow Apologies

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